Catullus 14 Translation
Introduction
Catullus 14 is the equivalent of a rap war between ancient poets - albeit, ancient poets who are the best of friends. In this case, the rappers are poets and their battles are conducted with books filled with bad rhymes. Catullus writes about Calvus, his friend and fellow poet as they battle to see who can give the worst gift during the festival of Saturnalia.
Catullus writes how excited he is for Saturnalia, the Roman festival in mid-December. During this festival, Romans exchanged gifts, ate, drank, and partied. The festival began as a single day, but eventually expanded into a full week of honor for Saturn, the god of agriculture. Catullus clearly enjoyed this festival as he called it the “best of days” and he found it funny that Calvus gave him a book filled with poetry by the worst poets. To get revenge for the terrible book of poetry, Catullus will give Calvus a gift filled with equally bad poems by the likes of “Caesii, Aquini, and Suffenus, and all such poisonous stuff.”
The book of bad poetry seems to have been passed through a few hands before it got to Catullus on Saturnalia. Calvus received it from a schoolmaster named Sulla. This may be one of the first instances of regifting. Catullus does show some disrespect to Sulla by calling him a schoolmaster, which is akin to an elementary school teacher. While this is a respectable job in the modern day, it was considered an insult in ancient Rome. Calvus and Catullus have a friendship filled with fun and cheeky attitude.
Catullus mentions his friend Calvus in other poems. He was a lawyer who once prosecuted Vatinius, a publican who was an ally of Caesar. Catullus and Calvus both thoroughly dislike Caesar as well as Pompey. In poem 53, Catullus wrote about the lawsuit and how Calvus described Vatinius as being like a manikin. In 14, Catullus jokes about hating Calvus as much as they both hate Vatinius. That’s how bad the book of poetry was!
To get back at Calvus for the bad poetry, Catullus threatens to visit the bookshop to buy all of the books of bad poetry. Those include the works of poets he has mocked in other poems. In 22, Catullus tears apart Suffenus’s poetry. He mentions that he has written over 10,000 verses, but they are no better than what a ditch digger or goat herder would write. These are uneducated careers and to refer to Suffenus like this was a true insult to his intelligence.
It is not clear who Caesii is, but the double-i makes the name a diminutive of Caesar. As Catullus and Calvus both disliked Caesar, the mention of Caesii could be an insult to the leader of Rome. Aquini was also unknown, but had to have been a scribe who wrote poetry that was not pleasing to read.
The tone of the poem is jovial, which fits with the attitude of Saturnalia. Readers can practically hear Catullus laughing as he plots his silly vengeance on his dear friend.
Carmen 14
Line | Latin text | English translation |
|---|---|---|
1 | NI te plus oculis meis amarem, | If I did not love you more than my own eyes, |
2 | Calue iucundissime , munere isto | my dearest Calvus, I should hate you, |
3 | odissem te odio Vatiniano: | as we all hate Vatinius, because of this gift of yours; |
4 | nam quid feci ego quidue sum locutus, | for what have one, or what have I said, |
5 | cur me tot male perderes poetis? | that you should bring destruction upon me with all these poets? |
6 | isti di mala multa dent clienti, | May the gods send down all their plagues upon that client of yours |
7 | qui tantum tibi misit impiorum. | who sent you such a set of sinners. |
8 | quod si, ut suspicor, hoc nouum ac repertum | But if, as I suspect, this new and choice present |
9 | munus dat tibi Sulla litterator, | is given you by Sulla the schoolmaster, |
10 | non est mi male, sed bene ac beate, | then I am not vexed, but well happy, |
11 | quod non dispereunt tui labores. | because your labours are not lost. |
12 | di magni, horribilem et sacrum libellum! | Great gods, what a portentous and accursed book! |
13 | quem tu scilicet ad tuum Catullum | And this was the book which you sent your Catullus, |
14 | misti, continuo ut die periret, | to kill him off at once on the very day |
15 | Saturnalibus, optimo dierum! | of the Saturnalia, best of days. |
16 | non non hoc tibi, false, sic abibit. | No, no, you rogue, this shall not end so for you. |
17 | nam si luxerit ad librariorum | For let the morning only come, I will off to the booksellers, |
18 | curram scrinia, Caesios, Aquinos, | sweep together Caesii, Aquini, |
19 | Suffenum, omnia colligam uenena. | Suffenus, and all such poisonous stuff, |
20 | ac te his suppliciis remunerabor. | And with these penalties will I pay you back your gift. |
21 | uos hinc interea ualete abite | You poets, meantime, farewell, away with you, |
22 | illuc, unde malum pedem attulistis, | back to that ill place whence you brought your cursed feet, |
23 | saecli incommoda, pessimi poetae. | you burdens of our age, you worst poets. |
24 | SI qui forte mearum ineptiarum | O my readers -- if there be any who will read |
25 | lectores eritis manusque uestras | my nonsense, and not shrink |
26 | non horrebitis admouere nobis, | from touching me with their hands |
